Its Tough Being A Teenager At Times

by : Jigfo

Teenagers are the citizens of tomorrow. In future they will hold the reins of country and lead it to path of progress and prosperity. It is of prime importance that they develop into physically strong and mentally balanced adults with the right values inculcated into their minds in the larger interest of nation and society.

Teenagers are full grown buds ready to bloom into charming women and robust males all set to join the mainstreams of various spheres of life if nurtured properly, given the right kind of congenial atmosphere with lots of love, care and attention. Teenage or adolescence is the period from the beginning of puberty to adulthood i.e. from the age of thirteen to nineteen.

This period is a time of adjustments in many ways. First and foremost are the bodily changes that the teenagers have to adjust with. With the onset of puberty, boys, voices break and the girls begin to menstruate. Hormonal surges of puberty affect their state of mind resulting in mood swings.

This period is tumultuous when a teens mind is crowded with puzzling questions seeing the happenings around. Although outwardly they give the impression of strength, courage and confidence, they are fragile inside. A lapse on the part of their parents, teachers and other elders will shatter them in no time easily.

It has been observed that when the child approaches teenage, parents heave a sigh of relief thinking wrongly that their parental duty is over because their child has grown up. This is far from true. This is the time when they need their parents most. Being extremely vulnerable, they turn to their parents for security and as sounding board.

They are their anchor a support base in their lives. Above all they want their approval or a pat on the back from them for their small achievements like first successful public speaking, debut as captain of the school hockey team and even on selection as a class monitor that goes a long way in boosting their morale.

They need to stay connected with their parents. At this juncture parents must maintain a strong connection with them. Left alone, some teens looking glum stare vacantly, some remain glued to the T. V. while some remain out most of the time among their peers picking their values defying the norms set by their parents. Many take to drugs to fight depression and fall into wrong hands.

You know what? Commented a friend as we sat sipping coffee in a companionable mood one pleasant winter morning. The most maligned people in the world are mothers in law and teenagers! Teenagers! I repeated curiously. Mothers in law, I can understand. These poor dears have been used as scapegoats from ages past, but teenagers.

Yes, she countered sagely, after taking a long pleasurable sip from her cup. These people have to confront a double whammy. They not just make enemies, they are often, their own worst enemies. She took another long sip, before continuing.

Ask anybody which part of their lives has been the most testing. Chances are, nine out of ten persons will claim that it is the teenage.

I pondered over the words and could not but find some truth in it. I remembered my days as a teenaged girl from my present comfortable vantage point of seasoned wife and mother. Admittedly, it had been a tough time.Then, I was happy yet discontented, ambitious but with low self-esteem, loved still feeling unloved, full of plans ,however, oh, so afraid.

What a jumble of contradictory emotions,I thought wonderingly.Yes, the teen years could be rough on the human psyche.

It was coincidence really that just the very next day after our coffee chat with my friend, a neighbors 14 year bold daughter burst into my drawing room unceremoniously. She and I shared a good rapport thanks to our common love for books which we exchanged, read and discussed with enthusiasm whenever we found time. The only book lover in a sports loving family, in me she found, I think, a kindred spirit.

When I saw her flushed face, so close to tears, I thought she must have had another confrontation with her irritating kid brother. But I was wrong. It was her mother who had managed to enrage the girl.

Who is to blame? Teenagers? No, we the elders are to be blamed if things go wrong. I dont consider teenagers problematic or trouble - some. Fault lies with the parents attitude.

They shrug away their responsibility by putting all the blame on the teens saying they are moody, oppositional and irritable just like the blame is shifted on the poor innocent infant born out of wedlock labelled as illegitimate for the fault of his parents. Parents dont take trouble to see the things in the right perspective from the teens point of view. In fact they need counselling more than their children.