While teaching a two-day Speaking Confidence program to a group of 25 government secretaries, I wanted to give them practice using their personal experience to help others. So I gave them a simple assignment to ponder over their lunch hour: Think of a lesson they'd learned in life and share that lesson with the group when they came back. A petite woman named Judy nervously came to me as the group was disbursing. Judy begged me to excuse her from this exercise. "Please! You don't understand. I'm terrified! I can't possibly get up and speak in front of all these people," she pleaded. We talked for a few minutes and, with compassionate encouragement from me, agreed to think in a hypothetical way about the possibility of maybe doing the exercise. With a long face and a heavy heart, Judy slouched off to lunch. When the group came back, I said, "OK, it's time to hear your lessons learned. Who wants to go first?" To my amazement, Judy's hand shot up! "Well, Judy, come on down," I said.She marched to the front of the room like a woman on a mission. Judy Blew Us Away She was funny, passionate, authentic, driven, feisty. She shared the mistakes she made, the resources she found, the lessons she learned, the gifts she discovered-all with a magnetic power that held us transfixed. The moment she finished talking, everyone leaped up in a joyful, exuberant standing ovation. After everyone settled down, I asked, "Judy, what on earth happened to you? An hour ago you were quivering, saying you couldn't possibly speak. Yet you've just held this room spellbound for 10 minutes. What happened?" She paused for a moment and said thoughtfully, "It never occurred to me until today that I could HELP people from up here. All my life I thought that public speaking was about following rules and performing and getting everything right. It had never occurred to me I could just stand up and help people." As Judy discovered, all the posturing and performing is unnecessary. You need a desire to help your listeners-that's it! Any time you speak to a group, it's because you have a message that can help them. Perhaps you can spare them some pain (as Judy did), tell them about a resource they've been missing, help them take advantage of an opportunity, explain something that's been confusing them, make their jobs easier, save them money or time, increase their efficiency, boost their morale, solve a problem, etc. The audience doesn't need to be impressed or entertained. They just need YOU and the wisdom you have to share. As Judy learned over her lunch hour, it's about helping people. (c) Copyright 2003, Upside Down Speaking
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