Marriage Advice & Marriage Tips

By: Tankiso Letseli

I would like to liken marriage to a car cruising on a highway or freeway. This analogy helps to understand marriage, but it is not intended to answer all questions or explain every aspect of marriage. The freeway or highway has several dynamics, and we will use those dynamics to explain marriage.

1. A car is designed by someone else. Marriage was designed by God in the beginning of creation, and was handed down to Adam and Eve according to Moses' account of creation in Genesis 2. Marriage is not human-made.

2. A car comes with an operational manual. Unfortunately, marriage does not come with a user manual. The escalation of divorce, separation, all forms of abuse, and unhappiness in marriage occur because there is no operator or user's manual. I would like to suggest that the Bible is well positioned to serve as the operator's or user's manual for marriage. The Bible deals and promotes positive and good human relations, such as, love, peace, joy, longsuffering, kindness, forgiving spirit, temperance, and etc. In general, and those are necessary and critical qualities to keep marriage healthy.

3. A U-turn is prohibited in the highway. Marriage was intended to be a one way, and a way of no return. One cannot enter marriage when they have not dealt with the question of permanency. The Bible teaches that God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16), and divorce was allowed because of hardness of people's hearts (Matt. 19:7-8).

4. You cannot stop or park in the highway. Marriage should be growing from better to best. Like a plant, when marriage stops growing, it weathers and dies. If you stop, you disturb and distract those who are moving.

5. Keep the speed limit. Don't drive too slowly to disturb the flow, or too fast to cause accidents. Grow your marriage in a normal way. Don't take time to adjust or bond, and at the same time don't swallow an elephant, but bite a piece at a time.

6.Cars in the highway must be licensed. There are times when people drive unlicensed cars in the highway. Marriage should be legitimate and regarded or treated as holy. Children should be born in a Bible-approved legitimate marriage.

7. Cars must be roadworthy. Marriage that is not "roadworthy" should be properly repaired and regularly serviced. When marriage is not attended to, it becomes a stressor to spouses, children, and others.

8. Different cars in the highway. Some cars a better and nicer than yours. You need to be satisfied with your car, and not envy your neighbour's car. Some cars look nicer from a distance, but not quite the as you own and drive it. When you chose your spouse, you made the best decision ever (or did you?). You need to be satisfied with your spouse or marriage. Other marriages might appear nicer and desirable from a distance, when they are actually a hell on earth.

9.Follow and observe the freeway/highway rules and signs. Pay attention to areas that might create a disharmony in your marriage journey. Slow down to take curves smoothly. When there is misunderstanding, slow down to address it. Curves are for learning and growth. Don't be harsh and unkind when taking a marriage curve - you can lose control and roll your marriage.

10. Keep to your lane. Don't change lanes without indicating. Give indications if you are going to make changes in your marriages, particularly changes that also affect others. Inform your spouse, children, and others if your are planning to bring about changes so that they are cautious and alert to your moves.

11. Passengers must feel comfortable in your car. They need to feel free to take their naps without feeling that their lives are in danger because you are behind the wheel. Create a safe and peaceful environment for those who are in marriage with you. Use your power to support rather than to sabotage.

12. Carry necessary tools and supplies for the road. It is illegal in some countries to drive a car without a spare wheel or to run out of gas. Plan ahead and anticipate challenges on the road. Every marriage should have a toolkit for repairs. There are times when a tyre suffers a puncture. Be ready to stop, turn on your warning lights, and replace the tyre. Challenges and conflicts are normal in marriage. One needs to be armed with necessary tools to address conflicts and challenges so that we can resume our marriage journey.

13. Use all car mirrors in order to be alert at all times. You need to be able to see cars from all angles - rear and sides. Don't drive with your eyes on the rear or side mirrors because you might drive into a car in front of you if it suddenly stops. Concentrate on your car, but vigilant that other marriages do not affect or disturb yours.

Marriage
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