Way to Move Forward After a Divorce

By: Alyssa Johnson

I was listening to the radio today when my favorite song, "In Better Hands Now" by Natalie Grant came on. In the midst of holding one of my "car concerts" (because that's the only way I can sing without making small animals cry) I realized how appropriate this song is for those of you who are recently divorced. Read on for what I discovered...

"It's hard to stand on shifting sand"

Who disagrees with the idea that a divorce causes your life to feel unstable? It can feel almost impossible to get your equilibrium at the beginning.

"It's hard to shine in the shadows of the night"

Depression, or at the very least, fear begins to creep in. Most people find these feelings most bothersome at night when they're trying to sleep. That's when you aren't able to keep your brain occupied with all of the "to do's" and it fills up with all the thoughts you've been trying to avoid.

"You can't be free if you don't reach for help"

You don't live in a vacuum. A divorce, whether your chose it or not, causes a lot of change in your life. It's important that you reach out. It could be as simple as for help moving or a close friend to hold you while you cry. That help really is necessary if you're going to move past those post divorce feelings.

"You can't love if you don't love yourself"

This is such an important concept after a divorce. So many people want to rush into a new relationship in order to avoid dealing with those uncomfortable post-divorce feelings such as loneliness, fear, anger, and disappointment. While it may sound like a good idea, it's one of the worst things you can do. You're not fully able to love another person (no matter how great they may seem) if you've not adequately taken care of yourself first. It's once you are healed that you can fully give of yourself to the new relationship

So what's the solution; what's the best way to move forward after your divorce? The very next two lines of the song tell all...

"There is hope when my faith runs out

Cause I'm in better hands now"

Changes of this magnitude in your life can cause you to rethink everything you've ever known. Life doesn't seem to have turned out the way you'd expected it to. A lot of people become embittered by this. I suggest instead that you put yourself in better hands than just your own. You were not created to do life on your own. There is a God who desperately wants to hold you in His arms and help you through this situation. Don't just reach out to friends for help - reach out to Him.

When you're willing to admit that you can't handle this situation just by yourself and lean on God, that's when you can really move forward. You will be given the strength you need. Will the pain instantly go away? No, but you'll have the hope and power to endure it which will make your journey shorter. Your view of the current situation and your future will shift dramatically. Give Him the chance to heal you and your children. And never forget that no matter how difficult things may feel right now, you're in better hands now.

Divorce and Infidelity
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