by : Dalip Singh Wasan

Marriage in India.
Dalip Singh Wasan, Advocate.

It is on record that Sudhir and I had developed relations when we were in college and we had spent four years together firstly in college and then in the University. We had the same combination of subjects and we had been together in canteen, in library and even in the garden attached to the University. Most of our class mates were surprised to note this combination because I was belonging to a caste which had been categorized as Scheduled Caste and Sudhir was from Khatri community. Therefore, we never had the occasion to talk on the subject of marriage because I knew that it would have been a futile exercise. There were no chances of marriage and therefore, I wanted to continue with this love affair because we were passing on a best time and we had spent at least four to five years together.
After completing my Post-graduation I joined a training institute and then I got a job being of reserved category and Sudhir though had always been getting better positions could not get a job and then he had to establish his own establishment which he shared with his retired father. They both started running that establishment. I had been visiting that establishment time and again and I had been meeting Sudhir and at times even to his father. They had been enquiring about my life and about my adjustment in job and marriage, but my only reply was, " I have decided not to marry and it is my final decision." Father of Sudhir was surprised to note this decision, but he never suggested the name of his son. He had been asking me to give an advertisement in the news paper and the same time he had been telling me that they had been giving such advertisement and they had been getting good response, but he told me that Sudhir was not choosing a girl from the families which had been contacting them. Sudhir had been sitting there and had been listening to all these talks, but he never suggested my name to his father.
We both had been waiting for suitable matches and we both remained unmarried and we both crossed forties. In due course parents of Sudhir had died and even my parents were no more in this world. I had been left all alone and Sudhir had got one unmarried sister who was living with him. She was in service and she had been having all the knowledge and information about our relations, but it is strange that she never suggested to her parents about the marriage of Sudhir with me because she too was not ready to have a Scheduled Caste sister in law at her house. I had the information that she too had got some love affairs, but she could not tell her parents about that love affairs and in due course that boy could marry and was leading a life with his wife and children at the same station and in spite of his marriage he had been contacting the girl and they were seen together in the bazaar and some time in trains too.
I had suffered much and ultimately one day I went to the house of Sudhir and sat with them. I started speaking, " It is an accepted fact that we both are in love and we both wanted and even now want to have marriage. We could not marry because I belong to a low caste and this sudhir belongs to a so called higher class. But we both had been together and we both had been with one heart with two bodies. This Sudhir could have married, but he avoided to have marriage only because he had been in love with me. I too could have married but I avoided to have marriage with a man with whom I have got no love affairs. These religions and these castes are manmade and as far as our love is concerned, we had not created this with our own efforts, but it came to us as God's gift. We had been honouring this gift of God and we never allowed to pollute it. We have decided to continue with it till the last breathe in us." And then I turned to the sister of Sudhir and said, " You wasted your whole life and it is on record that your lover had a marriage and still he is trying to keep alive that love which is creating hindrances in your way. When that fellow had got a marriage, he must keep apart and he should come forward with a suggestion that you should find out a suitable match for you. You know one Bikram was also near to you, but somehow he had been left behind and the place in your heart had been taken by the boy who has married and has left you all alone. I shall suggest you that you should marry that Bikram. He shall be very happy because he had been in love with you and I know this matter and this love affair." I finished my speech and before they could utter some words I left the scene and started waiting for their reply.
And it is a fact that we all are married and are living a happy life. People around us had started saying, " A woman has got no religion, no caste, no group, no category and she becomes what her husband is and people forget all about her past " And similar remarks were there about the marriage of sister of sudhir. We married, but we had to waste ripe years of our life only because we were not fulfilling the norms established here in India and in spite of all difficulties and troubles, the people are carrying on these traditions. We had to carry on our marriages through Courts, because none of our relations and others known to us were agreeing to participate in these marriages which had lost all norms and all traditions and even all the couples were not within the age limitations accepted here in India. At least I am not happy with all these norms, because I am sorry that I had to waste so many years of my age which I wanted to enjoy.
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