Commitment: Where Did It Go?

By: Jonathan Baldwin

What is Marriage?

It has become apparent that the root cause of a lack of commitment comes from misperceptions and miscommunication. One of the primary culprits is our modern view of marriage. Marriage itself is defined as a "union between two people". The modern ceremony we call "marriage", is in fact just that: a marriage ceremony, not marriage itself. Whether or not two people hold hands down an aisle and have a government piece of paper is not what makes two people married. In fact, it doesn't change anything about the two people, except for what they have mentally decided to change for themselves.

So at what point are you married?

This varies, but the usual consensus is when you have intercourse you "join flesh" in a "union" and become one. The ceremony is merely representative of the "union" you are about to partake, for all of society to see so society can enforce the union.

You mean to tell me, I'm married?

There is no doubting when to people have sexual relations they have joined flesh. When they break-up it is as painful as ripping flesh, hence the creative analogy. What differs about modern society is they place all the value in a piece of paper from the government and a lavish ceremony.

Backlash of casual "marriage"

Since casual sex is almost expected of any new couple, so is commitment. In order to protect themselves in such a dangerous environment where diseases and the pain of breakup after the "union" are common, daters have taken to instant-commitment. Most daters expect an exclusive relationship from the moment of dating. Yet, one cannot build commitment upon a non-existent relationship, so many only pretend to be committed. This makes the real commitment down the road lose all it's meaning.

Marriage is the point at which daters originally became "exclusive"

Ironically, in an environment where sex before marriage is taboo, dating itself was not exclusive. You dated the one you liked the most, but it was not uncommon to court many separate loves. This may have caused jealousy, but it was considered normal. Marriage was the final point at which couples would decide to commit, and an engagement period was the test of that commitment.

Dating and Romance
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