Marriage Guidelines & Marriage Help

By: Tankiso Letseli

14. Overloaded Cars. Some marriages are overloaded with heavy problems and baggage from the past. This scenario affects the health of marriage, and might cause further problems. Don't overload your marriage with in-laws, friends, and others when there is no need to do so. Overloaded car finds it hard to maintain the minimum speed and struggles to climb hills. The growth in marriage is slowed down because the attention is on the weight that is weighing down the marriage.
15. Potholes or strange objects on the highways. There are times when the rains affect the highway or normal wear and tear. There are times where you find objects tossed from some cars or mistakenly dropped from trucks. One needs to be vigilant so as to steer away from such objects. You might damage your car. Marriage is under attack and spouses should always be vigilant. Some challenges in marriage are beyond your control - you can't stop them from happening, but you can choose your response to them. You can either choose to address them head on and come out scathed, or you may choose to ignore them and drive around them. Life-related potholes might inflict some damage to marriage.
16. Stranded motorists on the highway. In many countries motorists are not allowed to slow down or stop except per instruction by the higher patrol or officer. There are times when some motorists are stranded and need some help. You may help if it is safe to do so, but your help should not create further problems for stranded motorists. Couples need other couples to learn or receive help from them - particularly to issues which do not need specialised help.

If you can, stop and help your fellow pilgrims in this marriage journey. Couples need each other for survival and also for reality check. Some couples might have a perspective to issues which can help involved or affected couples.
17. Yield to on-ramping cars. The highway provides for cars that on-ramp or off-ramp. In some countries on-ramping cars have a right of way because they are not in position to stop, and those already on the highway should clear or yield. Yielding is not disempowering a person, but it allows the other to be comfortable. In marriage we do a lot of yielding even if one has a right of way. Marriage is not about win-lose, lose-win, but win-win at all times. You win if you allow your partner to win. Even in principle issues, win-win is the best method of dealing with issues.
18. Motorists still learning how to drive. One of the interesting issues is to drive behind a person who is still taking driving instructions. Learners tend to drive a bit slowly because they are more cautious and a little bit uneasy. The temptation is to be impatient and feel that your time is being wasted. Some newly wedded couples might be irritating to the older married couples. Treat them the way you were treated when you were a young couple. Allow them the right to make mistake, and to grow at their own pace. Model patience to them so that they can catch a good value of treating other learners.
19. Increasing incidents of road rage. There are times when motorists find a reason to express their stress and frustration by getting physical with each other. One couple might wage war with another couple. If you can, help by breaking the fight and help them find a better way resolving their problems. Help them find a solution to their problem rather than becoming their new problem. Help them reconcile and restore peace. If someone is hurt, try to help ease the pain. Don't just slow down and watch, but do something to change the situation for the better. Help put out fire rather than pour gas on fire. Apply the "Good Samaritan" principle.
20. Giving a lift or ride on a highway. Traffic laws of some countries prohibit motorists from giving a lift or ride o n a highway. This practice is prohibited for obvious reasons. Cars tend to travel at a higher speed, and stopping or slowing down might disturb and distract the flow of traffic. It might even cause an unnecessary collision. In some countries, motorists had unknowingly given thugs a ride, and endangered their lives and that of their loved ones. Some marriages lived to regret for being hurt by a person who was introduced initially as a recipient of help - and turned out to be the very cause of the downfall of the marriage. If you need to help, do so within the accept rules, and be vigilant at all times.

Marriage
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