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Russian Women and The Engagement The decision to get married is taken nowadays exclusively by young men and women themselves who are governed by their mutual feeling above all. Following the tradition, the man asks the permission to marry the girl from her father, but after the matter has been settled with the girl herself. An engagement is the ceremony of announcing the decision to get married by the fiancées. The Soviet Russia saw a new tradition take shape: the day when the happy couple handed in their application to the special department of registering marriages became the day of the engagement celebration. The engagement performs two major functions: to announce the decision of a young couple to get married and to set the time needed for the preparation of the wedding. Usually one month or a month and a half is allowed for that. An engagement is celebrated in the girl's house (an echo of an ancient tradition). The parents of both the man and the woman are introduced to each other and discuss the preparations for the wedding, how the wedding is to be held, where the newlyweds will live and what plans for the future they entertain. In Russia a man, engaged to a girl, is considered a member of her family. The girl's family take care of her future husband and try to create the benevolent atmosphere for him to feel 'at home', as they say. I daresay, this is also a tribute to the ancient tradition: having the daughter married was the deepest concern of a girl's parents, that's why nowadays they are more anxious about and moved by the event than the man's parents. Throughout the engagement the girl will idealize her fiancé: he seems to be the most handsome, strong, kind and soon. She is literally flying above the earth, for she is the bride and that is the most significant feeling for a Russian girl. A Russian woman is shielded from the reality for the engagement - she is absorbed by the anticipation of the forthcoming happiness. Neither her relatives' warnings, nor her friends' stories, nor even her own miserable experience can disturb her. She believes with all her heart that everything is bound to be all right now, that is why she plunges into pre-wedding preparations with inspiration. The joyful and exalted spirit of the forthcoming event is cherished by the woman's friends and relatives as well. The man also plays a part in the pre-wedding performance, trying to maintain the image created by the woman. He courts her elegantly, indulges her whims, pleases her in everything, acts chivalrous, but after the wedding... Well, that's the woman's lot. You will agree that the after-wedding period embraces the whole life, while there are only one or two months of engagement. It doesn't take a man much effort to create a fairyland for his woman for this period. Perhaps, that is why Russian women like the engagement period that much. Thus, the pre-wedding period is the most fairytale-like, delightful and magic in a Russian woman's life. In respect of both happy feelings and disappointment, that is often experienced by the woman after the wedding when she discovers that her fairytale prince is just an ordinary man with a complete set of defects. This was the reason for the fact that lately many Russian couples put off the wedding to prolong the engagement - the fairytale. They live together before marriage in order to get to know each other better so that they didn't feel disappointed afterwards. |
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