Breakups are no fun, not for anybody. No matter who you are, going through a breakup is painful and stressful...but even when the chips are down and it seems like life is practically meaningless anymore, don't go to pieces! You CAN get your life back together and learn how to get your ex back, and I can help you do it!



I've assembled all of the little things (and some not-so-little) involved in figuring out how to get your ex back into a simplistic 3-step program that groups the processes into three separate stages. With this plan, it becomes very possible indeed to turn your life around and get your ex back.

Stage 1 - Shut Down Contact: It may seem a little counterproductive to your main goal to cut off contact with your ex, but in the great scheme of things it's very important to start off by giving both you and your ex some time and space to breathe. At this point, any pressure is just going to drive him/her further away, and you have important things to do with your downtime.

All relationships end because of problems, with one person so dissatisfied with things that he/she has no choice but to end it. Typically, those problems lie with the person who was left. This means YOU, but don't worry too much. All you have to do is make use of this "downtime" and really analyze your relationship to figure out what the problems were, and make whatever sacrifices, compromises, or changes to yourself that will be necessary for your partner to be happy. I know it seems a little unfair and daunting, but it's what's needed if you really want to be with your ex.

Stage 2 - Reestablish Contact With Your Ex: The time it'll take to do the analysis/self-work part of the first stage should be sufficient to where upon finishing it or at least getting it well underway, the timing should be fairly appropriate for making contact again. First contact should be very light; a phone call or email asking how he/she is doing should suffice. DO NOT broach the subject of getting back together yet.

If the first contact went well, it should be safe to continue to slowly build up contact once more, taking it step by step at a nonaggressive pace. Once you get to the point that you're spending time together, make it a point to do things together that you always enjoyed as a couple. The great memories combined with the work you've been doing on yourself can really open your ex up to the idea of getting back together. Indeed, sometimes your ex will bring it up him/herself!

Stage 3 - Maintenance: Chances are good that you two will get back together, no problem. The compromises and sacrifices you've made should really smooth things out, but it's vital that you not let yourself fall back into your old ways. If you do, it'll end just like it did the first time, and you may not be able to salvage it again.

Remember when you're using this 3-stage system that it's almost entirely based on passive techniques. The most proactivity and aggression you'll be demonstrating should be with yourself, getting your flaws and issues sorted out. When dealing with your ex, the last thing you want to do is scare him/her away, so always work on simply letting your ex see your dedication for him/herself. It's amazing how effective it can be.