A relationship without open communication will inevitably give way to deception. There is no grey area. It is better to hurt another with open communication than to betray with deception. You will find that even the act of open communication prevents deeds that would normally be performed under the veil of dishonesty.
A relationship is a gentle lowering of individuality or Ego. A free flow of ideas, perceptions even insecurities should come to the surface and be discussed. In the ideal environment, no taboo or perceived craziness is outside the limit of open discussion. All taboos are society's programming anyway- which is far from open at the present time. Even governments and companies have not recognized the power of open communication with their people.
To suddenly start being open after a long period of hiding is far more difficult than being open on a regular basis. But inevitably this line has to be crossed, and accepted. An environment suitable for revealing all is the first stage of open communication. Both parties must be willing to hear anything and refrain from allowing their Ego to jump into the fray; to judge, feel hurt or angry.
Next comes regularity. At first the impulse to be dishonest "in order to protect someone" will be strong. This is the first stage of dishonesty that is justified has being beneficial to the other person. Slowly this nurtures roots of deeper deception. If the root is cut while it is young and even little white lies are absorbed by the light of open communication - no lie can ever grow.
Does this mean one can share all thoughts, all ideas, or beliefs with anyone? It should. For now you'd get locked up or thrown into an institution as a madman. But there will come a time when society's contract with dishonesty and illusion gives way to a deeper understanding of open communication. In the meantime there can be a selective agreement of open communication between a single couple, a single family, a single company and it's employees, between a single government and it's people before finally the whole world accepts the idea as norm.
Everyone may not like the idea at first, preferring to hang on to the perceived power that comes through lying. It is they who will prefer to go to war when the truth has been set free. Granted, there is a fine line between loose lips that sink ships and open communication in the spirit of greater love between two enlightened individuals. Open communication does not mean running the mouth like a loose cannon. It means selectively choosing your words in a way that will bring about greater harmony between yourself and another party. And avoiding the acts that would disrupt that harmony whenever possible. And in the rare cases where a controversial decision must be made in haste and a decision was made in error, it can quickly be discussed, accepted and learned from.
Most great tragedies begin with a small deception that gets cultivated over time. If you can learn to be open even when on the surface it appears that it will not serve you, over time you become the person that can always be depended on for the truth. And because the truth is a power sought from the depths of every Soul- anyone who possesses it will hold a position of great power. Respected, admired and even revered for their sincerity, and openness even in times when the truth is unpopular and their name risks being tarnished- they rise above the primitive contract of society and peer into a new world waiting on the horizon.
Cannot Open Communication Port
Let me tell you about a situation a friend of mine was dealing with. I will call her Sandy. Sandy called me one day to say that she thought her husband was having an affair. Because she was so upset I went right over to console her.
When I got there I found that Sandy looked as if she had not slept in days and the house was very messy. After a brief conversation I talked Sandy into taking a shower so we could go out for lunch. Fortunately she agreed and we actually ended up having a pleasant lunch.
She did share with me some of the intimate details of the problems she and her husband had been having. That may not be the best thing to do when you are having issues with your partner. But it did seem to make my friend feel better.
Just so you know though I do not advocate nor advise that you share details with friends. But let me continue and I will explain as I go. Sandy said that her husband had been working a lot of overtime. The long hours were only adding to her suspicions.
Here is a tip, be careful with accusations and suspicions that have no solid foundation. I asked my friend if her husband was being paid extra for the overtime he had been working. She seemed surprised that I would ask that and explained that he had made enough extra money for them to make a few purchases that they had been putting off.
Tip number two, look for evidence of whatever it is that you believe as well as something that validates what your partner tells you. The next complaint Sandy claimed was that because her husband is working longer hours he is tired when he comes home and they have not spent much time together.
My friend explained that her husband has not been doing any of his chores around the house. But the final blow was when her husband called to say that some of the guys from the office were stopping for a drink after work.
I am sure you can guess what Sandy was thinking. So she waited up for her husband. I wanted to know how late he was and she said he was home by 10pm. As you can imagine the accusations were flown in his face when he walked in the door.
Because Sandy was upset she said a lot of things that should not have been said. And because her husband was tired and also fed up with the accusations the argument escalated. It ended when Sandy told her husband to get out of the house.
With the details cut and dry like this it is easy to see where the problems began and what went wrong.
First of all you can see that Sandy was overly suspicious. After all, her husband had proof of his actual work time because he was bringing home extra money. But perhaps he was at fault because he was working so much. Obviously if the money was going for purchases they could have done without so much.
And Sandy could have been more understanding about him being tired when he got home. Maybe some of the money could have been tagged for paying someone to help with some of the chores around the house.
Learning how to talk things out before the problem gets out of hand is a basic tool when you are trying to save a relationship. It seems that many break ups occur because tempers are hot and feelings are hurt. Tip number three is do not have a serious or important discussion until you can do so calmly.
Both James Stinson & Debbie Allen are contributors for EditorialToday. The above articles have been edited for relevancy and timeliness. All write-ups, reviews, tips and guides published by EditorialToday.com and its partners or affiliates are for informational purposes only. They should not be used for any legal or any other type of advice. We do not endorse any author, contributor, writer or article posted by our team.
James Stinson has sinced written about articles on various topics from The Internet, Recruitment and Guide Guitar. James Rick Stinson 23 year old author of Garden of Life, avid meditator and personal development coach. A young entrepreneur currently running a business overseas in the Philippines. For more-. James Stinson's top article generates over 90500 views. Bookmark James Stinson to your Favourites.
Debbie Allen has sinced written about articles on various topics from Get Ex Back, Lose Weight and Cure Anxiety. Get a free report about article writing at:http://www.articlemarketingplus.comTo skyrocket your Article marketing profits visit:. Debbie Allen's top article generates over 135000 views. Bookmark Debbie Allen to your Favourites.
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